Loss of a loved one brings pain, there is no doubt. It is the most intense pain many of us will ever feel.
It is not something we can just shrug off; it takes months and years of hard work to get to a point where that pain is a manageable part of ourselves.
Even though grief brings intense pain, you cannot quit living because of that pain. You must keep living because the loved one you lost would not want to see you throw your life away because of it. Giving up on your dreams and receding from life because of the pain of grief is almost like a second death for the one you lost. Someone once said, “Pain is temporary but losing because you quit will haunt you forever.” Your loved one would never want you to quit living!
It may help you at this time to think of how you would feel if the situations were reversed. What if you knew that you were leaving your family and friends and had only one hour to tell them what you wanted them to know? What would you say? I doubt you would tell them to grieve or to stop living; instead, you would tell them how much you loved them and how much you wanted them to move forward and be happy.
We actually witnessed this phenomenon on September 11, 2001. Some of the people on the airplanes that ultimately crashed, leaving no survivors, were able to call their loved ones before the crash. What did they say to them? Unanimously, they wanted their loved ones to be happy and to move ahead with their lives, come what may. Your loved ones felt the same; they want you to move forward and to be happy with yourself and your life. Can you deny them that effort now that they are gone?
Always remember, through the reality and the intense pain of grief, that your loved ones loved you and wanted nothing more than your happiness. When you realize that, you are better prepared to grieve and to move on with your life rather than giving up on your dreams.