I met Bethenny at a local book signing event. Bethenny Frankel is The Real Housewives of New York star, power house behind the Skinnygirl brand, and author of I Suck at Relationships So You Don’t Have To: 10 Rules for Not Screwing Up Your Happily Ever After. Bethenny’s book really resonated with me. I’m in my 40’s, never been married but have plenty of dating history to know what real love looks like. Now I just need to adopt these same practices in my real life to find MY true love. Here are the top three things I’ve learned:
1. Make Sure You Give and Take Equally!
All relationships are based on mutual respect and at different times, one person may be giving more than the other for various reasons. The challenge is to make sure it is not continuously imbalanced. I am definitely a giver by nature so I love to do nice things, help a guy I’m dating out, and take something off his plate to reduce his stress. As a giver it’s effortless to do things unselfishly out of the goodness of my heart. However if it isn’t ever reciprocated it can become a one sided relationship. No matter if you are single, married, in a friendship or relationship, it is always wise to evaluate the balance of give and take in each of your relationships to make sure that you are getting what you want and need out of all of your relationships.
2. Communicate: Openly & Honestly
I see this all too often in every aspect of my life, especially in my corporate life, people dance around a subject rather than just coming out and saying what they really mean. This leads to all sorts of confusion and underlying turmoil. It’s better to be respectful, tactful and just say what you mean to keep lines of communication open. In the words of John Mayor, “Say what you need to say!”
3. Always Trust your Intuition!
We live in a very technological world, full of dozens of dating sites. This provides opportunity and more areas for people to hide, embellish and or even lie about who they really are. If something seems too good to be true, it definitely is. If things aren’t adding up, don’t be afraid to question. If someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time. I am a person who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt to everyone until they give me reason to question. Just remember to always listen to your gut. Lead with your head and your heart will find its rightful owner.